Showing Vulnerability Can Be A Good thing- At The Right Time

Firstly, I’m very grateful to my client who has allowed me to share this, what came up in the session wasn’t just a message for her (or me).

Recently, during a Ka Ba Sum treatment, my client started shaking and crying, I knew it was something big that they were releasing. They cried for the rest of the treatment and also during the feedback session afterwards. “You made me cry” ,she said. I instinctively relied by saying “sorry, I guess that’s what was meant to happen today”. Her response sent a shiver down my spine. “I have not allowed myself to cry since my husband left me, almost ten years ago”. Ten years of not allowing yourself to cry. We explored this and she said it was because she had to be so strong for her child. An admirable position to take. The consequence of this has come out in her personal life and manifested as physical illness inside her.

Now, whether you believe in mediumship, psychic ability, angels or that these are ‘just’ thoughts, the message I received is the one I really want to share:

“It is okay to cry, it is not a sign of weakness. Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, it is a strength. It is real. Learn to love it, learn to accept it. Learn not to fear it”

If you choose to ignore your own truth, your own feelings, you can block your own happiness. Everything you do to run away from your own feelings can take you further away from happiness and closer to finding things to make you feel less bitter about things instead. The illusion of making yourself happy whilst hiding from an underlying sadness or bitter regret can be harmful to yourself and those that you love. We can turn this around.

Over generations, bitter people have raised children that learn to be bitter, knowing not how to find that sense of real happiness and unconditional love. We (humans) have raised children to unlearn that sense of “I am….”, “I LOVE this” I hate this, to cry when unhappy, to laugh for no apparent reason, to sing, to dance for the sure hell of it. We teach unconsciously, to bury your feelings deep down inside. As a child, notice how they pull faces when they don’t like something. In Britain, social etiquette and more importantly social pressures mean we generally remain polite putting up with something that doesn’t really agree with us, is not best for us, even though we probably really want to shout “f**k” at the provider or such a disagreeable provision. We’ve just accepted all of this control, given up so much power- to be polite and agreeable.

Sometimes I think that your awakening is all about waking up to being a child again. I know it’s not that simple, but to remember what it was like to be unafraid, to want to inquire is empowering.

The parent that never shows self-weakness or vulnerability and criticises others for being ‘weak’ or ‘losers’ to their children is likely to raise a child that either never knows when to stop, criticises others too or an adult who doesn’t understand why they are not so perfect, not so strong, why they are weak/a loser. Of course, the former does give the sense of believing in yourself, which can be a good thing. The latter can create a seemingly never-ending prophecy of endless self-doubt.

Due to changes in our approach to counselling/coaching, we are at a time where more and more people are questioning the latter and working through it. I think the reason why this is so, is in this modern “winner takes all/survival of the fittest” society, having feelings are seen as soft, mushy, wishy washy weakling that just need to toughen up. We don’t have to think like this. Strength comes in many forms. Sometimes the strongest thing to do is to just be your true self…

You are unique, you are amazing. You are not bullet proof, you are not a machine. And that is being real and loving- and completely you. Embrace and love it ❤

Injoy, inlight and inlove


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